sunsetoronodam4I pace through the house, on the phone with my sister, making sure we have all the details covered for her family to watch our 3 dogs while we go to the Raising Generations Today conference. The conference that I will be sharing parts of my personal story. It’s the first time where there will be more than a handful of people listening.

It’s the story of how I was abused, abandoned, left to my addicted self to scrape my way through this cold and heartless world. The story I don’t tell to just anyone, if at all. The story that I’ve been trying to escape my entire life. The story that I feel God has been preparing me to share for over 20 years and even more so these last few months.

The story of my life.

My pace quickens as I try to keep the conversation light, even though I’m feeling anxiety climb up my limbs, ready to engulf my heart. We laugh, she sweetly encourages me, I close my eyes in gratitude. I’m finally starting to feel like I have a real relationship with someone in my family, my big sister. It feels as natural as it feels foreign.

We exchange sincere “I love you”‘s as I finish up one last pass through the kitchen. I brush of my emotions, well, stuff them down. I’m such a crier. 

I sit down at my desk for a couple of minutes printing flight and hotel information and somehow, I realize a couple of HOURS later, I got sucked into it being really important to update my Linkedin page??

I’m procrastinating again.

You see, if I ignore it, it’s not there. The fear. The nervousness. The excitement. The reality of this really happening.

My life. It was never supposed to be like this. I had no future, no destiny, no hope for anything beyond scraping by.

Yet here I am.

I’m alive. I’m a wife and mother. A sister, an aunt, a friend. I live in a house where the bills are paid and there’s always food in the fridge. I’ve accomplished a few things in this short amount of time on earth. Even if none of it makes the 10 o’clock news and no one else ever knows but the Lord, I still have done something with my life beyond white-knuckle surviving.

And I still struggle with feeling like God must have the wrong girl.

Even though I know He doesn’t make mistakes and I know HE knows exactly what He’s doing and I’ve been begging and pleading that my life would be used by Him for His glory and that I would one day move beyond always being the broken one, always being the needy one, always being the “special project” one.

All those years of darkness. All those years of crawling and gasping my way through to the Light…have I finally reached the top of the hole?

If I have, please don’t tell me.

If I have, I want to realize it slowly. Slowly, so that nothing will make me prideful. Slowly, that I may not lose hold of humility as I reach for wholeness.

I don’t want to be whole if the price is losing my humility. I’d rather have a forever thorn than have any more of me believe it can live without God. I don’t ever want to give up being desperate for Jesus. Not for anything.

I close my eyes, lay my head in my hands and I begin to weep.

I weep because I feel inadequate. I weep because I can’t believe God feels I’m “ready” enough to be used by Him. I weep because I’m not sure if I can convey all that I want to. I weep because I want to see God heal broken hearts. I weep because I know how special these women are to the Lord and that makes them special to me. I weep because I love my Savior. I weep because I’m not sure I can do this. I weep because I want to honor my family and not cause pain. I weep because Jesus has already gone before me and has prepared the way and is on my side. I weep because I can’t find my favorite nail polish. I weep because I can’t decide which shoes to bring. I weep because we don’t have as much money as I was hoping to have. I weep because I was hoping to have lost more weight by now. I weep….

My husband walks over to me, gently placing his strong hands on my shoulders, whispers comfort to me. My shoulders heave. I still can’t believe I have a husband. And a very good one for me at that. And in this strange place of gratitude and awe, I find calm again.

I turn the volume up on Pandora and Christy Nockels’ voice invades me: “Your face is beautiful, and Your eyes are like the stars…Your gentle hands have healing, there, inside the scars…Your loving arms they draw me near and Your smile, it brings me peace…Draw me closer, Oh my Lord, draw me closer, Lord, to Thee…”

…and I worship.

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I’m rummaging around in my bedroom closet for something, as I write this, I can’t remember what it was.

I can’t find it so I try the small storage space under the basement stairs.

As I tear the place apart move stuff around, I still don’t find it, but as I look up I see something else. My strong box. The one I’ve had since I was a really little kid. The one my sweet great grandma gave to me, to store all my most prized possessions.

I grab for the scuffed, brass handle and tug the box into my chest, the metal contracting, making that sound only metal can, like artificial thunder.

I get a kind of grin on my face, my heart lightens and I promptly forget what I was doing (Oh, shiny!) and hurry upstairs to take a trip down memory lane. As I climb the stairs, I search my brain, trying to make a mental inventory of what I remember being in there. I can name a few things, but the rest isn’t coming back to me as quickly. It’s been a long while since I’ve visited my past and I usually only do it intentionally, when I feel I can face whatever I may find.

strongboxI set it on the kitchen table, the sunlight is beaming through the light green sheers, almost illuminating it. I slide the lever to the right, the lid sticks for a second, but I yank the handle a bit harder and it flies open.

So many memories.

They come at me like unrelenting waves, rolling over me as if I were the seashore on a windy day. One after another, after another, after another…

I go through a cycle of emotions faster than the spokes can spin on a tire (with a card attached by a clothespin ticket-y ticking as fast as it can).

I giggle, sigh, I strain my memory for images, sights and sounds, people who were once connected to me and wonder “where are they now?”.

I remember.

michaeljacksonfolder2As I get closer to the bottom of my box of memories I come across my Michael Jackson folder, complete with graffiti and scratch-n-sniff stickers exclaiming, “Plum Good!” and “Ba-nanza!” (Yes, I DID scratch them. Yes, they DO still smell! Can you believe it?!) I open it, and right next to the “Vital Statistics” paper my 5th grade teacher had us fill out (where I note my personal hero as being “Indiana Jones”) I see it. And I remember.

michaeljacksonfolderopen I silently gasp and hold my breath as I read these words:

“Weekly Reader, Special Commemorative Supplement, February 21, 1986″

I stare at the faces. One by one. More words, “‘We Mourn Seven Heroes’” and “‘The future belongs to the brave.’”, taken from President Ronald Reagan’s speech, stare back at me. I gently turn the pages as if I’ve uncovered an ancient manuscript, lost to the ages, just like Indiana Jones.

challengerarticle1challengerarticle2challengerarticle3I feel for a chair and slowly lower myself as I feel my heart ache and my eyes go blurry from the tears welling up. It was long ago, 28 years actually, and I start to realize how much it had impacted me. My nose starts running and I grab a kleenex, clearing my throat, attempting to shrug off the ridiculous feelings this finding has invoked. I brush away escaped tears, moving the article aside and there it is. I sit there, stunned. A yellowing piece of paper with my handwriting, the rough draft of an essay for a class assignment on one side, the finished paper on the other. The cleverly obvious working title, “My Space shuttle feelings”.

challengeressay1challengeressay2Under my breath, I read my own 28 year old words:

“It was January 28, 1986, the beginning of the new year. It was around 11:24 and I was in my Math class. Mary had just announced that at Cape Canaveral, where Kennedy space center is located, the space shuttle Challenger had blown up, one minute and fif-teen seconds af-ter its launch, killing all seven on board. The astronauts were: Sharon Christa Mc Auliffe, a Social Studies teacher in Concord, New Hampshire, Gregory Jar-vis, Ronald Mc Nair, Francis Scobee, Judith Resnik, Mike Smith, and Ellison Onizuka. When I heard that I held my breath and tried to believe that it happened but I couldn’t. It was so shocking that whenever I hear about it I start to shiver and remember the videotape I saw that night on the news. When it was over I started feeling sorry for the family’s they had left behind. It must have been scary seeing your reletive die like that. I hope it never happens again because it hurt so many peoples lives.”

Bits of images flash in my mind, Mr. Clayton standing in front of the class, our timed Math speed test being interrupted (I can still hear the “bing” of the intercom, Mary’s choked up voice), tv’s on carts wheeled into hallways, teachers whispering and some brushing tears away, walking to the media center where Mrs. Trapp had the news on, kids feeling scared, uncertain, looking to the adults for direction as to what to think, to feel, how to process it all. All the whispers in the hallways. I knew something serious has happened, something that would change all of our lives.

challengeressay3I was 11.

I just sat there. Remembering that say. Then, I took a deep breath, let out a big sigh, gently folded everything back up and carefully put it all back in its place. My mind was racing a mile a minute and took a while to slow down. I wondered if I hadn’t been taught how to or allowed the proper time to process everything all those years ago.I don’t know.

I remember a teacher, a civilian like me, a mom, like mine, and how she died, her children and family, a whole nation watching as she and her colleagues flew to their death. How a facet of the definition of being brave was etched into my mind. I wondered how I should process this as a Christian, in light of scripture, and as an adult. I’m still not quite sure, but, I do know the Lord knows what He’s doing and we can trust His plans for all of us.

Today, as I write this, I am remembering again. I look back and see how much life DID change after that. How many years it took for NASA to try again, how things are really quiet on that front now, unless you like space stuff, which, I do. I’m glad that hasn’t changed. I still look up at the night sky, trying to comprehend the universe, our place in it. Meteor showers, solar eclipses, lunar phases, sun dogs, planets, eclipsing binary stars, telescopes, constellations, satellites streaking across a blanket of stars…still make me giddy. (For the record, Pluto IS a planet, AHEM.)

Life has gone on, though it looks and sometimes feels a little different.

President Ronald Reagan’s Challenger Memorial Speech:

Soli Deo Gloria

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I’ve been writing in this space for almost 8 years. Part of me feels like I’ve shared so much of myself while the other part of me, knows I haven’t really shared much of anything. I’m good at that. Too good. My life is marked by the ability to only let others see what I want them to see, what I’m willing to let them see. I have mastered the art of hiding in plain sight.

Well, I’d like to let you know that from now on, Lord willing, I am taking my own advice and stepping out of the shadows.

As you may recall, in one of my last posts, I gave a glimpse into some of what I experienced growing up. There are many, many reasons that explain why I act the way I do and they are all valid. HOWEVER, I am choosing to NOT let them be EXCUSES any more. God has not brought me this far for nothing. He has not healed and changed my life to the extent that He has only for me to sit back and mock Him with laziness and apathy. No, I was made for something so much more than that.

So much more!

And I plan on growing in this area. I mean really growing.

I want to come out of the woodwork. I want to share all that my life has been and all that it has become. I’d even like to share with you some of my hopes and dreams. Especially now that I’m not afraid to hope or dream anymore.

Everything starts with a step.

One step forward, toward the goal, no matter what it is you are striving for, there must be that first step.

So here I am.

For me, this is taking that first step. Writing these words to you, telling you what’s really going on with me, opening my heart up to you.

As I think of all the people who have visited this place, shared their hearts and prayers with me, my thoughts turn toward honor and respect. I want to honor you, your time, your heart. By continuing to write, I hope you will see that honor and feel as though I am respecting you, your words, hearts and your time.

I don’t say it nearly enough, but please know you are important to me. You are very important and special to me. I may not say it enough, but I think it and feel it all the time. Even the days no one gets a chance to stop by, I still pray for and think of you. I hope you can see that the reason why I do this is because that’s what God does. He thinks of us all the time and Jesus intercedes on our behalf to the Father for us, night and day. You are a treasured gift to me because you are a treasured gift to our heavenly Father. I hope you know that, believe that and reach out with that love to others.

I can hardly believe it’s not only been another year, but it’s also 2014!!!

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited and disappointed at the same time. I’m excited for all the possibilities a new year holds, and I’m disappointed because I was under the impression we would have some sort of flying car by now. Although, I am glad the earth hasn’t been taken over by robots that has forced the remaining humans to live underground. For the record, if that happens, I’d totally be part of the resistance. Just sayin’.

Ok, I think I’m getting a wee bit off the trail here…

{Psst. If you also mostly grew up in the 80′s and know where I was going with that tangent, please leave a comment sharing your thoughts about the lack of advancement in technology. Thanks.}

Ok, so, on that note…(’cause I’m totally giggling now…and I hope you thought that was as funny as I did… ;) )

In conclusion, I’m really looking forward to getting to know you more, in this space, where I hope God will be glorified and you and I can be friends.

~traci

xoxo

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The sun peaks around the corner of the drapes where I didn’t pull it over far enough before I went to bed. It’s warmth and glow draw a line on my bed as I try to convince myself it’s time to get up, as in actually out of the bed.

I roll over and somehow my feet are faithful to hold me up this time. Whew, over that hurdle. I shuffle over to my dresser and pull out something to wear, from the clothes pile that’s still sitting there, I manage to get my shirt on not only right side out, but right side in front. This could be a good day!

I shuffle-yawn my way out to the living room where I find “my spot” on the couch, pull on my favorite quilt and try to settle in while I warm up again. As I reach for my Bible, my arm coming out of its warmness, I realize I’m wearing what I wore yesterday. Again.

At first, I do the eye roll thing and think of how lazy I am. Then, as quickly as that thought appeared a new ones emerge to replace it, “Who cares, no one can see me. I like this outfit, it’s comfy and I want to be comfortable.”

Now, normally this would be fine, and it totally cuts down on laundry, but in light of what I posted recently on Facebook, this takes on a whole new meaning. A much, much deeper one. It makes me think of the spiritual parallel about what we wear. How we put on things that are comfortable and familiar to us with the same ease of meeting up with old friends. We let our guard down and rest in knowing what to expect. Well, just like all sizes of clothing aren’t equal (ahem, so bummed about that shirt I thought would fit!) all friendships aren’t equal. Some of them, we should really examine and honestly evaluate to see if they really are true and healthy friendships at all, especially the ones on the spiritual side of things.

seagull1You see, while I’ve claimed to have mostly grown up very alone and very unknown, it’s actually only mostly true. Which means, slightly false. The false part being that I actually did have constant “companions”. Some of their names were Shame, Loneliness, Forgotten, Unloved and Ugly. They would invite their friends Anger, Bitterness, Rage, Unworthiness and Rejection over to play. My most constant friend though, the one who always showed up, never missed an event and was the most loyal to me, that friend, I have always called that friend Fear.

Fear and I? Yeah, we go waaaaaaaaay back. I mean, we’re talking as far back as I can remember, which is like, the 70′s. Fear was my first friend in the whole, wide world and has always been there for me. Whenever I wanted to do something, Fear was right their to talk me out of it. Always the protector, that faithful Fear. Whenever I wanted to trust, to be myself, to say something, to show emotion or to care for someone (or to let someone care for me), Fear was right there to help me realize I was being foolish. Wow, what would I have done all those years without Fear?!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t always do what Fear said I should do. In fact, there were times where I stepped out, did things without Fear and it wasn’t all bad. There were also the times when I didn’t listen, did my own thing, and I ended up kicking myself for thinking I could be right instead of Fear. Those were the times I was glad I had Fear around, you know, to protect me. Ahhhh, the comfort of the good ol’ days. Right, Fear? Right?

*sigh*

seagull2Funny thing though, since I’ve been a Christian and try to live the way a Christian would, I’ve come to realize a few things about my so-called-friend. Fear doesn’t like it very much when I talk about it either. But that’s ok. Let’s make this time one of the times we don’t listen and step outside of Fear.

Here’s a list of 5 things about Fear:

1. Fear is NOT from God. As a Christian, I am called to walk  in faith, love, hope, grace. Not once am I called to walk in fear. The Bible actually tells us the exact opposite. Say what?! Yep, in 1 John 4:18 the Bible clearly states the God is love and that His perfect love, Jesus, casts out all fear. We are supposed to run away from anything that’s not from God and to cling to that which is good and of God (Romans 12:9).

2. Fear is an idol. Anything we bow our knee to, give ourselves to, give a place of authority or priority to; physically and/or spiritually; knowingly or unknowingly, is an idol (or at the very least has the potential of becoming and idol). Every time I allow or give in to choosing fear, it is a “sacrifice” to my idol of fear. The very first commandment (as in the 10 Commandments) God gives us in Exodus 20 & Deuteronomy 5 is: “You shall have no other gods before Me.” This is not easy to do, but when we see it, we must deal with it through repentance.

3. Fear is NOT my identity. All throughout scripture we read about who, and Whose, we are. Not once does it say our identity, who we are and who we were created to be, is that of fear. NOT. ONCE. It does say our identity is found in Christ and Who He is. God is peace, joy, hope, forgiving, gentle, loving, and truth. All throughout the Bible God is constantly referring to us like this: beloved, cherished, chosen, wonderfully made, sought after. Imagine if we truly believed this and walked in this truth daily.

4. Fear is NOT truth. I heard once that you could look at the word “fear” as an acronym: False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is based in lies. The Bible tells us in John 8 that the devil is behind lies. Since we know that the devil is evil and is out to destroy us (1 Peter 5:8) we can safely assume that we shouldn’t listen to lies and that we should then saturate our minds, thoughts and lives with God’s truth. Our focus needs to be on what’s true and real and not on what is untrue but is trying to appear real. We can do this by reading the Bible and replacing our lies with its truth.

5. FEAR IS NOT MY FRIEND. Period. The End.

seagull3When I was a child, I didn’t know Fear was not my friend. I was blinded, deceived, and it was all I had, all I knew. Over the years I have come to realize just how much damage Fear has actually caused in my life, how much it has stolen from me, how much I have given to it, fed it, helped it grow. By the time I was an adult I couldn’t see past the facade of Fear, I only saw what I thought I saw, what I wanted to see. Who wants to realize, and then admit, that they were betrayed, by a friend?

Well, today, I am willing to admit it. For all to see and hear.

As I choke back tears and pain and fears, with trembling fingers I would like to make a public announcement.

FEAR IS NOT MY FRIEND.

And I’m ok if no one else is my friend. It doesn’t change who I am. And I’m ok with that. It doesn’t change Whose I am. And I’m totally ok with that. I don’t need people to validate the validity of my existence.

People will hurt me, I will hurt people and not everyone will like me. I’m still valuable to the God of the universe and Jesus showed me I was worth dying for. That’s enough for me.

I’m not going to be afraid anymore.

Well, at least, that’s my goal. Baby steps, right? Well, ok, this is more of a humongous leap, but after this? Baby steps. :)

Wanna come with me?

seagull4

Soli Deo Gloria,

Traci xoxo

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lightening2Once upon a time, there was a small girl, who lived in a small world. It may have been a small world but it was also a busy world with noisy, polluted darkness. And all the noise and all the darkness made her sad and lonely and very afraid.

Even so, every day she would wake up, hoping beyond hope that maybe, just maybe, the sun would shine.

“Maybe this day will be better?”, she thought inside herself, trying to push the dark, noisy clouds in her head away. Even though she knew things would never change, she still hoped.

Days turned into months that turned into years, and as time passed the clouds became raging storms and the noise faithfully grew and grew until one day, she realized, no one heard her. No one knew she was there. No one was coming to rescue her. The sun was never going to shine.

As the darkness grew, tangling itself around her heart and mind like creeping vines, so did the little girl.

She grew into a grown up and she became a mama. And then a Christian and then a wife. But all those years of living in that small, noisy, dark and lonely world had kept her a little girl inside. Hidden away, where she hoped the shadows and scary things couldn’t find her anymore. 

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I went to the Allume conference out of obedience. Confession: I didn’t want to go. I had been there all three years prior, I had had amazing, life-changing experiences, met amazing people, etc. I was good. Besides, it’s been a very hard year and I just wanted to be home, hidden away with my family.

But God had a plan. He always does. :)

He provided a ticket, and then a hotel room complete with roommates and everything. Not to mention the cheapest airfare ever (even after all my procrastination-sorry, Lord). I guess He really wanted me to go. I’m so glad I finally embraced His leading. From that moment on, I began to pray, not for myself, but for everyone else. I wanted the Lord to use me to bless His daughters by being a servant to them in whatever way He wanted to use me, which, I pray did happen.

Little did I know what God had in store for ME.

One of the first evenings I found myself in the comforting and inviting prayer room, (hosted by The Seed Company, LOVE THEM!). I had gone there because I had felt an inner heaviness that I wasn’t expecting. I just knew I wanted to find a quiet spot to pray about what it could be. As I sat there, two sweet women asked if I wanted prayer. I hesitatingly agreed, having this feeling something bigger was going to take place.

As I tried to tell them what I needed prayer for, words fumbled out and eluded me. I became undone.

I started to realize how overwhelmed I was. I wasn’t overwhelmed by what you would think, not even what I would think. I was overwhelmed at all the people who knew me. They joy of people greeting me, broke me. It broke through a serious and well crafted fortress that had been around my heart since I can remember, all my life.

I heaved and sobbed as I tried to mutter coherent words telling these precious prayer sisters that people actually knew me. They know ME!

From the moment I walked in, clusters of friends, reacquainting themselves with one another would see me, stop what they were saying, call me by name and come to me, arms stretched wide open for an intimate embrace.

Like you would greet a friend. A real friend.

And they were doing this to ME!

Others would light up and exclaim, “I’m so glad I get to finally meet you!” And others would shout, “TRACI!!!!!!” as they clamored for my attention, claiming their hug. And they meant ME.

It was just too much for me.

I couldn’t comprehend it. It made my mind reel and my shoulders heave in anguish because of all of those years, all those years of being no one. A nobody. Forgotten. Discarded. Stupid. Rejected. Used. Unwanted. Abandoned. Abused. Terrified. Too loud. Too awkward. Misunderstood. The last one thought of and the last one picked.

My mind went blank because I had no reference as to how to process it all. I couldn’t believe people remembered me and not only remembered me, they wanted to be by me, on purpose, because of ME, who I am.

ME!!!

Even now, it’s still sinking in.

I even went back a second time, after I had been trying to muffle more deep, from-the-gut sobbing during worship. People I knew, gathered around me, loved on me, prayed for me, comforted me, spoke truth to me, took time out of their schedule to be with me and with their voices, audibly claimed me as their friend. Can you believe it?! ME!! I HAVE FRIENDS!! And they aren’t afraid to own it, well, ME!!! HAHA!

MIND=BLOWN.

*******************************

To my old friends: I can now see the friendship we already have, truly you are my friends and we have been friends all along. I can see that I was blinded by my pain and was holding back in our relationship because I truly believed it was all too good to be true. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, convinced someday it would. I’m so sorry for that and I hope you can forgive me. I truly was incapacitated by fear and my wounds. I sincerely cherish you and love you with all my heart.

To my new friends: I pray that God will continue the mighty work He has begun in me and that I will be able to honor and to be a blessing in our new relationship. I look forward to what the Lord has in store for us. I hope I bless you as much as you have blessed me.

*******************************

So, yes, I learned a great deal at Allume. Yes, the speakers, as usual, were dynamic and spoke awesome words. Yes, it was gorgeously decorated and the food was super yummy, (well, there was this all arugula salad that was, interesting) ;) . Yes, it was filled with all sorts of wonderfulness and the worship was sweet and it was so great to see so many familiar faces and to meet new ones. It was all around the best one yet, in my opinion, and I would highly recommend you attend.

But for me, Allume was the place where God reached down and thunderously whispered into the core of my being…

lightening

“Traci, My daughter, My precious, beautiful, cherished, loved, chosen on purpose daughter…YOU ARE KNOWN.”

Thank you Father, thank you.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Traci xoxo

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You know, I just love being a Minnesota girl. I really do. I’m probably a bit biased because I mostly grew up here and it’s mostly all I know, but let me tell ya, I’ve done some traveling and while there have been some places I would love to revisit and would even consider moving to…NOTHING beats or compares to the awesomeness that is Minnesota in my book.

I know we get teased a lot about our winters and yes, they really do get that cold and long. But there are SO MANY things we Minnesotans do to make the time go by. Like, for instance, we go up north (where it’s usually, on average, 10 degrees cooler) only wearing a hoodie and walk out onto Lake Superior in the midst of gale force winds and around freezing temperatures.

How fun is that?! I mean, come ON!

Truthfully? I hemmed and hawed about doing it. It was super duper cold and super uber windy, you guys. Until I remembered my husband and I were there to live life together, to make a memory of our time spent together, alone, a rare thing indeed.

Yes, even though our daughter is all grown up (*sniff, sniff*). You see, we’re a family, and families stick together and families do things together, LOTS of things together. Because the years go by like a freight train on a mission even when they seem to barely be chugging along and you can never get that time back no matter how much you try or long for it.

In a nutshell? Live for now, while keeping the future in mind.

So, truth be told, it was more like us sitting in the warmth of the car having the following conversation:

Me: “You wanna walk all the way out there?!”

Him: “Yeah, why not?”

Me: “Uh, it’s so windy the seagulls can’t fly forward.”

Him: “Ok, well, we don’t have to.”

Me: Really thinking this through, weighing my options, looking out the window and the struggling seagulls and people blowing away in the wind, people grabbing their children trying to tether them to strollers and other family members and finally…

Me: “Ok, let’s do it.”

Him: “Are you sure? It is cold and windy and you didn’t bring a jacket.”

Me, famous last words: “Yeah, it’ll be ok, I’ll just zip my hoodie up all the way and put the hood up.”

You guys, I have no idea why we Minnesotans do things like this. I really don’t. It makes no sense because we do this all the time and we always say, “That was colder than I thought it would be! Next time I’ll…” and it usually ends up with a list of warmer clothing…or a portable heater. We are just so funny that way! I think it’s rather endearing, actually.

Well, once we decided to “seize the day” I tried to liven our spirits with a joke about taking a long walk off a short pier but I think it got lost on a gust of wind. Oh well, I laughed at it. That counts, right?

Here are a few things we saw while being silly Minnesotans:

TwoHarborsLight1Two Harbors Lighthouse

TwoHarborsLight14Not sure if you can tell but these birds are NOT flying forward,

they’re hovering

TwoHarborsLight13Our “long walk off a short pier” which gets longer the colder it is–trust me

TwoHarborsLight15

TwoHarborsLight6TwoHarborsLight10

TwoHarborsLight3

TwoHarborsLight16Almost there!

TwoHarborsLight8One of you and one of me…(aka proof we made it)

TwoHarborsLight7TwoHarborsLight11TwoHarborsLight12 TwoHarborsLight9View of the lighthouse on the way back

TwoHarborsLight19And this little guy, having a spa day in the middle of all the tumult. Every time a big wave would swell, he’d dive.

TwoHarborsLight21 TwoHarborsLight23

I’m so glad we did this. We had a lot of laughs and a lot of fun. We even took some photos for other people so everyone could be in the picture. I love doing that and people are always surprised at the gesture…and grateful. One way I try to show the kindness and love of Jesus to others. :)

I was also very excited about how many cool water shots I was able to take. What do you think? Are they kinda cool? Glad I figured out to use the action burst mode. It really helped with the overcast skies.

So, what have you decided to do lately in an effort to “live in the moment” or “seize the day”? How did it go? Was it worth it? What do you do to make memories with your spouse, your kids or even friends and strangers? Let’s encourage one another and spur each other on to live more fully!

 

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This post is linked to An Ordinary Mom’s Saturday Snapshots

If you love photography like we do, stop by and join us!

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The Colors of Change

15 October 2013

This last weekend my wonderful and not-so-spontaneous husband decided, spontaneously, he would whisk me away for a very, very, very much needed getaway. Just the two of us. For 24 hours. Alone. This time, He even did all the planning. All I needed to do was pack. WOW!! I mean, we’re talking super coolness here. […]

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